I heard we made out
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
