I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
