Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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