Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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