I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
