smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
