who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
