Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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