I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I have demons in me.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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