Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
