This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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