There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
and she was petting her beer can
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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