I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
