he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize