Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
