ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
