Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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