I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
