you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
