I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
