I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
