I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
