The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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