Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
false alarm. still invincible.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
