She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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