my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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