i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
