Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
