we're blogging at a bar
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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