therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
