Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
