I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
