you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
