How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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