and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
