you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
