Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
