You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize