fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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