i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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