Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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