I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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