I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
