I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
