shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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