so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
