Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
