I have demons in me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
