at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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