OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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