I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
