got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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