He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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