So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
