I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
