i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
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