During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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