No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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