don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize