Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
