My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
