i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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