Sry I called you an 8
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
