Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
