He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
