I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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